I’m tired…

Let me preface this by saying that I’m emotional. .I’m a wreck. This pregnancy and the crazy merry go round that my life has been on for the past two years has pushed me to the brink of crazy. I’m not on here to gripe or whine. I just need to be real. Maybe someone can relate.

I have, in the past year, changed churches(from the church I had been in my entire life) to another cofc a few miles down the road. Minor in location but a huge change all the same. Huge.

I became pregnant with baby #6 and I’m not upset about the baby but we definitely were done so it’s been another huge adjustment. 

My husband changed jobs and he’s very happy with his new job. We also moved closer for work so moving to another house in another town was a big change, too. I’ve lived in the same place (as have our children) my entire life. Definitely an adjustment.

Along with the changes came hurt feelings and stress. Lots of stress. We’ve made some sweet friendships but also some that I struggle with. I’m a loner. I always have been. I have so much insecurity from a horrible childhood experience and I’m very good at hiding. I still struggle with seeing it as a flaw of mine when someone doesn’t like me. I really struggle.  I hate it. It makes me very sad. I’m not good at building relationships.  It’s a miracle that I’ve been married 16 years.

So…that’s what’s been eating me lately.  I’m so upset the past week or so that I don’t sleep much at all. I’m also struggling with homeschooling my children and being a loving wife/mother. We’ve had some family problems and a death this weekend so the roof has caved in on me, it seems.  I just need lots of prayer, some quiet  time with God and His word and some sleep.

I am so very thankful for all of those that do love me. Truly. ♥



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